Deep Thoughts

Wow, OK so its been 3 months since Ive last blogged. Not sure I'm made for this blogging thing..but here we go anyways.
So lets talk about money for a minute. Can't live without it, right? I think its wrong that everything depends on money. How much you have determines your social status, how you look IE what name brand clothes you wear, if you can afford name brands in the first place, what you drive and if you can afford a nice car, or a car for that matter, and especially the places you can go and the things you can see or learn. We all know this very well.
So the time has come for me, I've run out of money and can no longer stay down in Kansas. The real world is calling me. And you have no idea how much it sucks. I hate the fact that I have to come back home and find a job that i know I'm not going to be as happy with, and I know your saying well that's real life chicky suck it up BUT wouldn't it be great to have a job that is something you love doing, and want to wake up every morning to go to? Don't you want to be happy!?
I came across this saying that I thought was very fitting for me. And I think for everyone, if you stopped to think about it for a second.

"Happiness is a journey, not a place"

And this whole time down here, it will be 5 months at the end of June, I've been kind of going by that saying. I think in order to live a healthy life you need to be happy. Lets take for example me, before I went down to Kansas I was working at a job that stressed me out, my body was hurting physically and mentally, and to everyone else I might have looked happy but inside I knew I wasn't. I was skinny, ate unhealthy, and didn't exercise except riding horses, but even that I didn't do as much as I used to. So i made the choice to quit my job and come to Kansas, with the help of Maryann and Megz. :) Two weeks later and I was in Kansas. Now 5 months later, Ive gained 15 pounds, I look healthier, eat healthier, and I feel healthier. Now that 15 pounds was gained in muscle cause I still barely have fat on me...definitely not bragging here though! But i even started running which for me was something i would have never thought to do and totally out of the blue.
I guess I'm just trying to get at that you shouldn't stay in one spot or do something that you know your not happy with. Really life is short and why waste it?!
Ive had a lot of time to think while I've been down here, as you can tell.
I think that this experience has been amazing, except for going broke. I guess you have to sacrifice something in order to get something else, IE sacrifice money for knowledge and skills that i can use later. Would I have liked to stay longer yes but I'm a firm believe in things happen for a reason and there are signs out there that you should listen to..and no I'm not being all psychic or something but if your really in tuned to yourself they are there.

Ill be driving back July 1st. The drive will be boring, but ill be rehearsing what I'm going to say at the border, ha yeah that's whats making me nervous, but ill make it thorough just fine. Positive thinking, that's all!

Now the journey to find a job. Ill get some time off when i get back to chill out and regroup, and find a job. Here's the question that goes through my head over and over again... get a job at a clinic?....or elsewhere. I'm just not sure I can go back to a clinic right now, yea i know i graduated and did it for 6 months then stopped BUT its something I can always go back to right? So why not check out other options now.

I think thats enough to digest right now, my heads starting to spin. And im counting down, 10 more sleeps and I'll be back.

See you soon, and until next time.